Monthly Archives: September 2015

Nine Eleven

We all have a story. Most of our stories are peppered with lessons, losses, triumphs, and a hardening of the heart that only time can heal. When we look at our country, the progress we’ve made, the decisions we have reluctantly chosen, and the history we will never forget, we are marked with the knowledge and wisdom that only experience can teach. 

Our country’s past seems almost undeniably parallel to my personal past. We have been challenged. We have broken free of barriers, and we have risen like the Pheonix, in spite of expectations. What I know to be true is this. God is good. Just when we believe we can take no more loss. We can handle no more disappointment. That is when God delivers. And because he waits so long, we realize that we are not in charge. His timing is perfect. I challenge everyone to notice, to recognize and embrace such timing. I promise that it is not just with me or our nation. God’s timining is perfect everywhere.

If you are doing your best to live a life of prudence – a life of purpose and compassion – God meet us halfway. In truth, it’s not just halfway. He makes things happen that do not seem possible. Fourteen years ago, when we all felt that our lives were threatened, what transpired in that moment? Parties dissipated. Differences diffused. Arguments ceased completely. We were all one. What would happen, what would occur if we felt that patriotitism in a time of peace? This is my challenge. This is what God intended for us to learn. We all face the same challenges, the same differences, the same struggels. What happens then, if the lines disappear and we UNITE? This is my prayer. This is our purpose.

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As for me…

This month, it will be four years that I’ve been the only adult in my home. That’s the longest I’ve ever been ‘head of household’. Ever. Right now, as I’m interviewing for jobs, there is on consistent theme going on in my conversations. I am Robin. I am the sidekick. I am not Batman. I may be at home, but I don’t want to be full-time, all the time, day-in and day-out Batman. I just don’t have it in me to be the happy boss lady. My mom was the boss. I was the minion. And maybe I wasn’t okay with that until she passed away, until I HAD to be Batman and was forced out of my sidekick flip-flops and into my superhero boots. Still, that has been my epiphany. Some people are born leaders, and admittedly, I always thought I was one of those. Maybe in a way, I still think I am – on an emotional intelligence level but NOT on a business level. 

I am the girl who will give everything away if it’s up to her, and no one is telling her to do otherwise. I am the girl who understands people’s hardships a little too well, and will cave in to their sob stories. And guess what? I don’t want to change a thing. I could’ve become hardened by now. By the grace of God, I haven’t. Have I grown wiser? Yes. At least I hope so. Have I stopped caring so much what others think? Yes. That sort of ended with the passing of my mom. So what’s a girl with sidekick talent and no live-in superhero to do? 

Wait for it.

That’s all. Don’t dive in. Don’t rush things. Just wait until his time is right. Can I get an Amen?!

After two divorces, the absolute LAST thing I want in my life is a husband who is NOT ready to be married, or be committed, or say ‘forever’. Robin is Batman’s sidekick because he respects his superhero and his superhero is respectable and committed as well. Robin didn’t just start following Batman around one day in hope’s that maybe…just maybe he would be accepted. There’s is a mutual friendship, and a mutual commitment. That’s how it should be. That’s how a marriage should be as well.

I don’t know, but I’m pretty certain that Robin could handle his household just fine without Batman. He could pay bills, do laundry, handle the kids’ fighting, keep the yard tidy, shop for the groceries, get the mail – he could do all of that perfectly fine without Batman. Batman could do all of that without Robin. 

But no man (or woman) was created to be ‘a rock’ as Simon and Garfunkel would say. We were made for each other, in our own time, when we’re both ready. Because while both Batman and Robin are perfectly fine alone, together they save the world.

We will also save the world, in our own little way. Until then, we have daydreams and roadtrips. We have weekends and long talks. We have time to savor. Time together, until we have all the time we are given  and we are ready to fly as one.