Not gonna lie. I was dreading yesterday’s trip to Morristown after the previous night’s Halloween candy drunkenness. I knew it would be a challenge to wake up with a belly full of chocolate and a mind full of apprehension. After all, I had only been to Morristown a few times in my life and I had no idea where I was going or how I would structure my day. And as a planner, the unknowns were eating me from the inside out.
When my 10:40 am interview walked in flustered and nervous because she was a few minutes late and expressed that she ‘never thought she would find this place’, I had no idea that what I was about to experience would be nothing short of memorable and therapeutic.
What began as a rather typical and routine interview gradually became exactly the therapy and cathartic conversation that I had hungered for all week. You see “Jane” had just recently moved back home from a 3 year stint in super-expensive California. And as we discussed cost of living and job experiences, we somehow wandered into the very hidden and forbidden corners of her past struggles.
“Jane” was a recovering addict with 4 years of sobriety under her belt. And for me, who was currently celebrating one year of my ex-husband and son’s father being clean and sober, I was intrigued by both her transparency and her resilience.
As we talked, and as I shared my exhaustive experience with watching loved ones become addicted and the challenges presented by those addictions, she made a very astute and insightful observation. She said “people like that are drawn by people like you, because they need people like you”.
I was floored.
How did she know that my #1 strength was forgiveness? How did God know that my #1 strength was forgiveness? I mean, he must’ve known, right? Why else would I have experienced best friends with addicted parents, sometimes with violent upbringings? Why else would I have married and then conceived with a man who was wonderful but who became addicted to drugs at precisely the time we were expecting our child together?
And just like that, this girl who had walked through my door at work as a stranger applying for a position, revealed herself as a soulmate. So much so that I can’t stop thinking about her story, about her resilience as a human being.
She felt that giving up on her life in California because of a ridiculous cost of living, was a sign of her failure. She couldn’t be more wrong. And this is what I expressed to her. Because sometimes we must return to where we were, what we were, where we came from, in order to fully understand how far we’ve come. And returning home sometimes, is simply a manifestation of our success, not of our failure.
When we are honest with ourselves, success has little to do with what we have and everything to do with what we are – to others, to the world, and to ourselves.
It turns out that my new friend has returned home to a loving family, a new romance, and a fully opened and forgiving heart that extends and overflows to everyone whose life she touches.
No matter if she ‘ gets the job’ or not, I think we will both be forever touched by our interview/ therapy time. I don’t have the credentials nor the education to counsel others, but what I can do is to experience those moments that are crucial to growth for both myself as well as the person whose life connects with my own in whatever way our Creator has planned for that to happen.
These moments are the seeds of joy. They are opportunities for learning about ourselves, but they are also opportunities to connect with this ONE wonderful body of humanity with which we have the possibility of sharing with, connecting to, and becoming part of every day and in any unassuming way. This is what life offers us…
So take that meeting. Make that moment count. And connect. Always connect when you can. Even if your boss says to ‘rush through’ because of numbers. Numbers will always remain constant and unchanging. Numbers will not make your life richer. Moments will.