Enough

I was sixteen, and crazy.

Boys, school, work, pressure, and never fitting in.

Everyone is cuter, skinnier, smarter.

Everyone has it all. I wasn’t

Enough. My life wasn’t enough.

I was twenty-five, and a mother.

A failing marriage, a broken house, but I had love.

I was a mom, and a good one. He made me

Feel like everything. I was enough for a moment, for

Lots of moments. My boy curled in my chest, growing,

Smiling, laughing and loved. We were enough, together.

By myself, I still wasn’t enough.
I had my mom, my family, my friends, my plan,

But was it enough?

Now 39 and lonely.

I have two boys. They hang my moon. Even though I’m

Twice divorced, orphaned, and sometimes pathetic.

I look at other women when I’m low, and wonder why

Can’t I be a wife? Why can’t my boys have grandparents?

Why can’t I be enough?

And this is what we do. We measure. We fail. We shrink. We lose

track of ourselves because we lose ourselves in the comparison.

Why would I want to be someone else? I have tools, strengths, experiences,

character muscle. I have survived. I have grown.

We all do. We all have purpose, and eventually we learn.

I am enough.

With God, I am enough.

There is no reason to compare. God doesn’t compare me,

He completes me.

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