n. pl. gen·e·ses (-sz)
1. The coming into being of something; the origin. See Synonyms at beginning.
2. Genesis Abbr. Gen. or Gn See Table at Bible.
The coming into being of something; the beginning. What thoughts come to mind when you hear that? What emotions ensue?
There are so many for me, none of which includes boredom or complacency. It’s fresh and exciting; new and invigorating. That’s the beginning of anything, because the beginning of anything is the first step into the unknown. When you begin a trip, you may know where you want to end up, but you have no idea what adventures you’ll encounter along the way. When life begins, a baby is born, you have an idea that there will be many sleepless nights. You can assume the baby will grow, need baths, drink milk, learn to smile & giggle, but it’s all so exciting to see this little being that is just a seed of what it will sprout into and become.
Mondays, the most dreaded day of the week for most, are even exciting. A new week is a new possibility for growth and beginnings. Even January, which is the coldest month of the year for many, is riddled with possibility at the start of a new year. Everyone makes resolutions, commits to change and improvement, and hopes for the best year ever.
This year is particularly exciting for me, probably because last year was so bad that this year almost has to be better. I truly have no doubt that it will be the best year I’ve had in a very long time. While I’m starting the year without my mom, I’m also starting without the dread of her becoming more sick or worrying that the Cancer will finally win its battle. It already did. But I have every reason to believe that my mom was the true victor, as she is now pain-free and blissfully happy.
Which brings me to the ever-so-anticipated, post-grieving epiphany.
I am happy. Almost exactly 6 months after my mom’s death, my mind has returned to its full splendor. She told me not to make any big decisions before 6 months was up. And while I heard her, and even quoted her ad nauseam, i did not listen. I made tons of mistakes, lots of bad choices, had some glitches and even some explosions as I acted and reacted to every challenge out of impulse and emotional erraticism. But…and here’s the moral….I survived it, and so did everyone around me that had to put up with my insanity.
When it comes down to it, beginnings are chances. And chances are good. In a sense, they put you back in the driver’s seat, where you’re in control, at least for a little while. If you’re lucky, you may even stay there. There will be bumps & mountains along the way, sure, but if you stay focused on the hopes that drove you in the first place – in the beginning, it’s easier to stay the course, and remain on that journey to fulfillment.
My resolution for this year is to do just that – fulfill without distraction. It’s ‘easy’ to give up hope, and cling to complacency. It’s more difficult to focus your sights on fulfillment and tread through the struggles to reach that goal. But, in the end, fulfillment brings happiness where complacency gives life to apathy and ultimately…emptiness. So in this new year, I challenge you to ‘fill’r’up’ with consistent and persistent hope. Don’t settle. Live to dream. If you want something out of life, you first have to see it. Find the means. To every means, there is an end, and to every end, there is a beginning.